package io.mazenmc.skypebot.modules.generated;
import com.samczsun.skype4j.chat.messages.ReceivedMessage;
import io.mazenmc.skypebot.engine.bot.Command;
import io.mazenmc.skypebot.engine.bot.Module;
import io.mazenmc.skypebot.utils.Resource;
import io.mazenmc.skypebot.utils.Utils;
import java.util.HashMap;
import java.util.Map;
import java.util.Random;
public class WhatWouldHappen implements Module {
private static final String[] OPTIONS = new String[] {
//"Minecraft would go open-source",
//"[members] would become internet famous",
//"Mazen's Skype Chat would become [bad groups]",
//"Mazen's Skype Chat would become a daily podcast",
//"[operating systems] would become the most used operating system",
/*"[celebrities] would come out as gay",
"[celebrities] would release to the world that [deceased] is still alive",
"North Korea would nuke [countries]",
"[countries] would start a war against [countries]",*/
"[members] would lose their virginity",
//"rowtn would have good internet",
//"Mazen's Skype Chat would be killed by Lizard Squad (again)",
//"[countries] would nuke [countries]",
//"[news] is scared that [current events] will destroy [things we care about]",
//"[members] would crash mazen.bot",
//"[members] would break the Nokia 3310 with [objects]",
//"[members] would die because of [current events]",
"[members] would kill [members] with [objects]",
"[members] would ejactulate [objects]",
//"[members] would make a joke about [current events]",
//"[members] would stop using reddit",
"[members] and [members] would have sexy time",
"[members] would commit suicide",
"[members] would get a girlfriend",
"[members] would date [members]",
//"all hell would break loose in [countries]",
"[members] would join [bad groups]",
//"[bad groups] would kill everyone in Mazen's Skype Chat",
"[members] would come out of the closet",
//"[staff] would remove [members]",
//"[staff] would be replaced by [members]",
"[members] would DDoS [members]",
//"[members] would water DDoS [members]",
"[members] would become the most hated person alive",
"[members] and [members] would move in together",
"[members], [members], and [members] would have a 3 way",
"[members] would shit themselves",
"[members] would get a sex change",
"[members] would lick [members]'s butthole",
"[members] would let [members] use their dildo",
"[members] would let [members] use their fleshlight",
"[members] would break every law but one while screwing [members]",
"[members] would commit a federal crime by publicly sexually abusing [members]",
"[members] has 99 problems, but screwing [members] up the ass is not one",
"[members] would screw [members]'s mum just to piss them off",
"[members] would have oral sex with [members] for 12 hours continuously",
"[members] would cry during sex with [members]",
"[members] would complain about [members]'s sexual performance",
"[members] would take leftovers and reverse feed them to [members]",
"[members] would get his [body parts] cut off",
"[members] would cut off [members]'s [body parts]",
"[members] would rub [members]'s [body parts]",
//"[members] would get [deceased]'s [body parts] in the mail",
"[members] would get their [body parts] removed by [members]",
//"[members] would be drafted into the [countries]/[countries] war",
//"[members] would be forced to fight the zombie apocalypse with [objects]",
//"[members] would desecrate [deceased]'s grave",
"[members] would shit fury all over [members]'s ass",
"[members] would become an internet meme",
"[members] would become [members]'s slave for the day",
//"[members], [members], and [members] would start an anti feminist cult",
"[members] would rape [members] with their [body parts]",
//"[members] would be sued by [companies]",
"[members] would move to [countries]",
//"[members] would buy the rights to [projects] for [money]",
"[members] would convert to [religions]",
"[members] would convince [members] to convert to [religions]"
/*"[celebrities] would be arrested for slapping [celebrities] with [objects]",
"[bad groups] would target [things we care about]",
"[companies] would hire the ghost of [deceased]",
"[companies] would be sued by [companies]",
"[companies] would acquire [companies] for [money]",
"[companies] would sell [companies] to [companies] for [money]",
"[companies]'s HQ would explode",
"[companies] would take over the world",
"[companies] would hire [members] as the new [jobs]",
"[companies] would hire [members] as the new secretary to the [jobs]",
"[companies] would spend [money] to hire [celebrities] as their new [jobs]",
"[companies] would donate [money] to charity",
"[companies] would spend [money] bribing the government of [countries]",
"[projects] would succeed",
"[projects] would shut down",
"[projects] would go ~~enterprise~~",
"[projects] would go closed-source",
"[projects] would only work on [operating systems]",
"[projects] would sell out to [companies] for [money]"*/
};
private static final HashMap<String, String[]> DATA = new HashMap<String, String[]>() {{
put("countries", new String[]{"Argentina", "Brazil", "Russia", "The US", "Canada", "China", "North Korea", "France", "Australia", "Saudi Arabia", "Egypt", "The UK", "Texas"});
put("members", new String[]{"Mazen", "Luke", "Filip", "Jodie", "Vilsol", "Heather", "Matthew", "Richmond", "Nick", "Gilles", "Justis", "Callan"});
put("staff", new String[]{"Mazen", "Jodie"});
put("objects", new String[]{"a dildo", "a knife", "a Mac", "an iPhone", "an anvil", "spiders", "a kangaroo", "a panda", "a member of ISIS", "a velociraptor", "a nerf gun", "goats", "gay people", "flying sex snakes", "ChipDev", "a banana", "a hot dog", "a dog", "Mazen's penis", "washing machine"});
put("current events", new String[] {"people dying in Iraq", "the dress", "the king of Saudi Arabia dying", "the war against ISIS", "Putin getting bad coffee for breakfast", "the war on drugs", "the US military buying more tanks", "drones", "llamas"});
put("celebrities", new String[]{"Bill Gates", "The Sheikh", "Obama", "Putin", "Osama Bin Laden", "Bush", "Jesus", "Steve Wozniak", "Randall Munroe", "Tony Abbott, Lord and Saviour", "David Cameron", "Larry Page", "Sergey Brin"});
put("deceased", new String[]{"Steve Jobs", "Elvis", "L. Ron Hubbard", "Billy Mays"});
put("bad groups", new String[]{"the Illuminati", "the KKK", "The New World Order", "the NSA", "ISIS", "Al Qaeda", "FEMA", "Lizard Squad", "Scientology", "the CIA", "Comcast", "Time Warner Cable", "Verizon", "SwiftlyCraft Server"});
put("things we care about", new String[]{"our children", "the internet", "our homes", "our privacy", "our safety", "our food supply", "our equality", "our maple syrup", "Net Neutrality", "our water supply", "our freedom", "our military", "our navy", "our soldiers", "Mazen's penis"});
put("deceased", new String[]{"Steve Jobs", "Elvis", "L. Ron Hubbard", "Billy Mays", "Adolf Hitler", "Joseph Stalin"});
put("body parts", new String[]{"head", "balls", "dick", "arm", "left nut", "right nut", "arm", "ear", "foot", "ass", "scalp", "vagina"});
put("companies", new String[]{"Apple", "Microsoft", "Mojang", "GoPro", "Samsung", "HTC", "Valve", "reddit", "Facebook", "Google", "Yahoo", "Intel", "HP", "Lenovo", "IBM", "Nokia", "Walmart", "Kmart", "Costco"});
put("youtubers", new String[]{"PewDiePie", "SkyDoesMinecraft", "Smosh", "vsauce", "CaptainSparklez", "RoosterTeeth", "freddiew", "the Yogscast", "Tobuscus", "SeaNanners"});
put("money", new String[]{"$2.5 billion", "10 cents", "$19.5 Billion", "some loose change and a bus pass", "an incomprehensible amount of money", "12 rupees", "50 bucks", "$0.02", "pretty much nothing", "1 MILLION DOLLARS"});
put("projects", new String[]{"Vine", "Facebook", "Imgur", "iOS", "Swift", "Iraq's (Mazen) Three Point Program"});
put("news", new String[]{"Fox News", "CNN", "The Daily Mail", "The New York Times"});
put("jobs", new String[]{"CEO", "CFO", "Vice President of Networking", "janitor", "intern", "spokesperson"});
put("operating systems", new String[]{"Ubuntu", "Fedora", "Debian", "Gentoo", "CentOS", "Red Star OS", "Mac OS X", "MS Dos", "Vista", "Arch Linux"});
put("religions", new String[]{"Christianity", "Mormonism", "Moronism", "Islam", "Judaism", "Last Thursdayism", "Pastafarism", "Anti-theism", "Atheism"}); // inb4 triggered
}};
@Command(name = "whatwouldhappen")
public static void whatWouldHappen(ReceivedMessage chat, String message) throws Exception {
String option = OPTIONS[new Random().nextInt(OPTIONS.length)];
for (Map.Entry<String, String[]> s : DATA.entrySet()) {
Random random = new Random();
while (option.contains("[" + s.getKey() + "]")) {
String replace;
while (option.contains((replace = s.getValue()[random.nextInt(s.getValue().length)]))) {
}
option = option.replaceFirst("\\[" + s.getKey() + "\\]", replace);
}
}
String displayName = Utils.getDisplayName(chat.getSender()).replaceAll("[^A-Za-z0-9 ><.»«]", "");
message = message.replaceAll("\\sI\\s/i", displayName).replaceAll("\\s(my|me)\\s/i", displayName + "'s");
Resource.sendMessage(chat, message + ", " + option);
}
}